Denver

Bre always says that for me, sleep is optional. That is not exactly true, although I have tended to only need 5 or 6 hours a night in the past. I have been trying to get more sleep as an effort towards more health lately, and I really noticed when I cut down my hours this last 10 days. Also, he knows that when he is not over, I go to bed really late, 4 or 5 am. Part of that, as I explained to him, is that I get to do exactly what I want in those hours, with no distractions (usually reading). Part of it too, though, is that I hate to get into that bed without him. It seems kind of pointless, as there is no one to cuddle with...

So, talked all night with Kayeleigh, then got up late and talked all afternoon. We only had to be at the curtis's by 5 or 6...couldn't even make that appt! We went to eat at a wonderful Mexican place then drove around. She showed me how to get to the house where I will be house sitting and hence back to her place (she lives in a part of denver I am pretty sure I never spent any time in). We also went to see the new art museum which is, guess what? Yeah, a giant upside down triangle hanging over a street. We have a new building like that in Minneapolis too, I think.

Then we came home and talked some more. We talked about Giovanni and it was very interesting to compare stories...Giovanni was fooling around on her too...probably with the same girl he was fooling around on me with!

Anyway, things are going very well. I also did some work (after she went to bed) so that I can mail in my billing while I am here.

Haven't actually read much...guess will have to start that tmw. Also didn't run today, but i plan on doing so tmw from the Curtis's. My old roads there...I am interested to see how that feels.

Can't believe it is thursday already! Been smoking...hope to cut back before Bre arrives...smile. Also been drinking some raspberry tea. I don't know if it is the same as the one I liked at Cucumbers, but I like it, anyway. She has been cutting back on coffee so she switched to tea.

I think this weekend is going to be fabulous! We can do the art museum thing, Monday we are going to a barbeque with some friends of hers and maybe going down to the springs where her cousin is having a party. Lots of drinking will be going on there, but might go down just to see them. Kayeleigh quit drinking in Italy. She went to "alkie" classes there (her words) and she said it was wonderful and supportive. She realized that she wasn't doing herself any good. I want to ask more about it, especially after all the conversations we have had at work (PI) about AA and such but I haven't yet.

It was great speaking in Italian, too. Nice for both of us to remember. She claims she is not fluent but speaks well. Her place is much like I remember her spaces to be, cluttered and a little chaotic. She has tons of things in boxes...she has been gone much of the summer and then has to move at the end of...uh...july i think. She is going to be teaching undergrad archeology in the fall, kind of nervous about it, but not overly so. She is so smart, but doesn't give herself enough credit...yet. I am kind of embarrased...feel like I do not know nearly as much about psych as she does about archeology. I guess I need to do some more reading on my own about such things...I really only did the minimum in classes except for the practical application ones...and maybe there too...

Currently listening: Awedony By Amr Diab Release date: By 13 February, 2001

here I am, on the road again

No, that isn't exactly right, I'm not on the road at all, I am actually at work. Feeling more tired tonight than either of the other nights I did this...could that be a cumulative effect? Huh.

Getting ready for my trip to denvah...although there is a part of me that wants to stay, nowadays, stay and get a little more settled in my new job. But it can wait, I know it can. Right? Not like it is going to go away...

Yah, it is going on 4 am...that is great.

Hey, was just listening to Song of Susannah in the car...that is a great story. Seriously. So what if I read it recently? Was great hearing it again anyway.

Currently listening: Trick Pony By Trick Pony Release date: By 13 March,

Calling people

at 4 a.m. to leave a message isn't crazy...is it? I mean, I know she isn't at work...after I hung up I thought, there will be a time stamp on that message you know, martha. And she is going to think you are nuts! Oh well, too late now.

Having a hard time reading, which I find strange. Ok, the truth is I haven't actually tried, but I haven't wanted to at all, either.

I filled out the Walden application and started the U of M one. yay me. I decided it isn't worth freaking out about. Either I will be admitted or not. I can only do the paperwork and hope for the best.

Feeling sleepy now...maybe I am crazy to have offered to do Saturday and Sunday's overnights, too...maybe I should re-think that...hmmmmm...

yeah, anyway. Not doing much clear thinking right now!

working another night shift

This is really working out well for my blog life, anyway. So, slept some today, got about 4.5 hours in, then I just had to get up. I kept thinking about what I needed to do later in the day...and wouldn't you know it, my first appt of the day cancelled, could have gotten at least one more hour...

But, I did get my work out in this evening and I feel very good about that. It is much nicer having a routine - I really do feel better when my life is more organized...at least some parts.

Saw some clients today that made me realize, yet again, how good my life is.

Working on my Walden application tonight, that is probably half of the reason I am here, posting. Cuz then I am not there, writing my (dun dun duuuun) LETTER OF INTENT. My intention is....my intention is to go to school forever. Can't I just say that to someone?

Currently reading: Song of Susannah (The Dark Tower, Book 6) By Stephen King

Emerson Quote

To laugh often and love much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. To earn the apreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty and to find the best in others, To give of one's self and to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation, to know that even one life has breathed easier, This is to have succeeded...

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Currently reading: Creating True Prosperity By Shakti Gawain

Wondering where I am at 2:12?

Working. Yes, working. I figured I needed to pick up a few shifts before taking this trek to Denver so I would have some cashola in my pocket when I got back. Nothing like going on vacation and coming back broke! I am doing tonight and tomorrow night...and maybe Saturday and Sunday overnights too. We'll see how this set goes, first.

Work is going good, this job is cool, either very slow or very chaotic. The other non-therapy therapy job, in home therapy, that is very good. I think I won't have any difficulty at all with getting hours and such. I like all my clients so far, and hope I can be helpful. I have 13 cases already - even though I am still called part-time. I hope to get right up to full time when I get back from Denver.

Then I want to drop my Thursday evening and Saturday evening here. I know that may be a bummer for here, but I need Thursdays to do in-home and Saturdays....well, i need them for me!

Maybe I will just drop Thursdays...Which reminds me, I was planning on doing myself a little budget tonight, figure out where I am....

Currently reading: Stolen Lives : Twenty Years in a Desert Jail By Malika Oufkir

Body dismorphia

So, yeah, you know how it is about getting fit - trying to reach some goals, we all know that stuff, right? So I am running the Twin Cities marathon in October, and I really want to run respectably. I do not want to finish in 6 hours, I want to run the course. I was doing very well marathon training two years ago, but then the hip/foot trouble started and then I sort of accidentally re-started smoking and that kind of changed my stamina strategy. NO no, don't laugh. I kept running. I didn't stop, even when my smoking increased to half a pack a day. Seriously. But my stamina went down so fast, it was not pretty.

So, anyway, I quit again...when? I can't remember. Before we went to italy, so before November. I think before I got canned, too, so maybe August of last year. But my stamina still sucks! (So far. gotta remember to talk nice to myself) I am still working on it. I haven't given up hope.

Bre ran in Grandma's marathon last weekend, and he did great. 54 seconds too slow to qualify for Boston, but still great. He is quite a guy....

How hard is it to be happy with the body you've got? I mean, even while striving to be healthier, fitter, whatever-er, I know that it is best for me to love myself the way I am, but dang. Some days that is too hard. Seems too hard.

Currently reading: Conquistador: A Novel of Alternate History By S. M. Stirling

more more more, how do you like it?

So, another thing about this trip to Denver...I will be seeing my bestest, oldest (ok, she isn't old...you know what I mean), bestest friend in the whole world. We haven't seen each other in a while, so it is a little strange...I mean, we had a period in which we didn't communicate at all, and so there will be kind of some stuff...I am not really sure at all how this will be, but I am anticipating long nights of talk...which I so miss!

We have been talking on the phone for a few months and dang. She is so my best friend. Even if we do have some crazy history to get over. It's worth it.

been a long time since I rock 'n' rolled....

Current mood: Wooo hoooo!

Yeah, been a long time since I was here, but that is good news, mostly. I am working two part-time jobs, which is great, considering my unemployment ran out....

I am doing therapy at both jobs, although neither place calls what I do therapy (because I am not licensensed). On the one hand, that seems wrong to me, on the other, I'm cool with that, for now.

I am applying for graduate school (yes, again) - both at Walden (some kind of semi-shady on-line deal) and at the glorious and grand U of MN. Although the U of M is more glorious, I can't actually start until Sept 2006...so far away...but at Walden i could start this Sept (which kind of adds to their semi-shadiness "wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would let me join" or something like that.

Relationship stuff is going well - wedding plans are in the making (although lately I have been thinking more about the honeymoon - I want to go somewhere cool and new that we can discover together...but I would love to go to italy and see my ka-tet over there, too....)

Kids are doing well, school is out and the vacation is on! We are all going to Denver next week...this is so crazy and yet seems perfectly reasonable to me. This will be our first "family" vacation, and we are so doing it NOT together. Let me try to explain. I leave on the 28th, then Bre comes out on the 1st. He comes back to MN on the 4th or 5th. Laura comes out on the 6th. Bre and Eric come out on the 9th and we all come back to MN on the 10th. yay for family vacations....

Currently reading: The Giver By Lois Lowry

Mary Tues 11

Forgot to tell about Mary. She called Tuesday before I saw my client and "picked my brain" about group home stuff. She told me she is still thinking of using her home as a group home and wondered if I would like to come and run it. I told her (after much discussion) that if I wasn't able to run it, I would be willing to help her get it set up. Really, once the thing is up and running it runs itself, in my experience.
It was kind of cool to feel like an expert at something again.

More shopping

I went shopping again! if you can believe it, because I wanted to go to Sam's. I got stuff for smores and more chips (who is going to eat all this, Martha?) and also some chicken wings. I know, I know, that isn't vegetarian but I like wings, and I really want to try them out on the grill! Eric and I will be experimenting with sauces...
Then went down and Beng, Eric and I went to Burrito Loco (yummy) and then to see Kung Fu Hustle. It was clever. I liked it, considering it is a fighting and kicking kind of movie.
Laura called for a ride but we didn't answer so she called her mom...oops. Beng got there at the same time as Celeste. Oh well. The joys of distance parenting, I guess.
I chatted with Laura a while after she got home, despite Beng's not-so-subtle hints about getting some sleep. I know what it is like to get home after doing something and needing to come down some before you head off to bed, so I figured even if she went straight to bed she wouldn't be sleeping...
Beng and I talked wedding plans after the kids were both in bed...that was exciting too! Ahhhh. Life is good.

Interesting coincidences

Went to sleep kinda late so slept in some (till 10). Detta and I surprised Amy when we came down...hee hee.
I got a call from Aunt Sharon this morning - kind of surprised me. She is concerned (as ever) about her niece and she talked to me for quite a while. It seems someone finally called 911 after she threw a fit and she ended up at Regions. What has happened since then is outrageous and I think Aunt Sharon is right to be upset. I would be too. In fact, I am. But there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. So far. I did page Curt and let him know that Aunt Sharon called, and that what she was reporting about Jo did not sound good. Just writing about it makes me feel upset again. And, I find myself in the position of expert again. What does it mean? I was just discussing these same things with Mary on Tuesday.
Anyway, then I looked up Fraser on line and they had a postion open for lead therapist at the preschool mental health area!!! Yay. I sent an email resume immediately and contacted the choir member too, asking if I could use her name (she said yes). I didn't get anything back from Fraser but I can be patient (which one is a person who is going to see a doctor and which one means able to wait, I can never remember). Very exciting!

Some Quotes

That I came across recently...

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains,
and we never even know we have the key."
--The Eagles

"We must be ever thankful for small miracles, and ever hopeful
for receiving greater ones."
-Elmer Shultz

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both
together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is
the soul of genius."
~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Wed night choir

So, went shopping for the big birthday party...I got enough goodies for 5 parties. I got kind of carried away, I guess. It was fun, though.
Then I went down to choir (dropped off the dog first and chatted a bit with the kids). We had a folding party, just like Beng does at the Men's Center. Except this was kind of disorganized. I don't know if they did that before or if they put out only a few so they have to figure it out every time. I know I am kind of anal about the whole "let's do this efficiently" thing...but still. Anyway, it went fine, they don't have that many so it was ok in the end.
While we were folding and stuffing I was talking (well, they were talking and I just jumped in) about therapy stuff and it turns out that one of the womyn is a therapist and I was telling her about the big job hunt and Nystrom (she raised an eyebrow) and she suggested I call Fraser - that they have a preschool mental health unit and it is a rule 29 place.
Beng and I talked and did a crossword till nearly midnight then I came home.

Interview

Hey, so just got back from the interview. I think it went really well! I am excited about getting to work there. Gina said that the "christian" part is more about how they interact in the office and how the business is run than about the clients, most of the clients they see don't know anything about the christian counselors part. I was very straightforward about my own beliefs not being very conservative on that front and about the fact that I believe that what people believe is very important. We talked about groups and she recognized the Love and Logic stuff.
I think it went well.
I talked to Beng right afterwards, he was holding in some skeptiscism because of some experience he had with another agency, but he thinks it sounded good too. Yay.
Then I was looking at email and guess who wrote me? Yeah, Lloyd....hmmmm.
Ok, I gotta eat so I can get a work out in before choir...

Yeah, very nice, very professional

Ok, so I emailed People Inc, still no response. Ok. Very nice. Went running with Beng and Detta at the dog park last night, was great. I got 1.5 in at home during the day and another 3 at the dog park. And I ran into a womyn from TCWC and it was cool. Don't remember her name, but I do remember the name of the dog...smile...Toby.
Then we went to Italian night, that was ok. I found out why Pablo always evades me about his kids...it is a painful topic. Ooops.
Then we went to Ihop and had omlettes.

Kukenhoff 

here goes

Ok, here goes, I am going to make the dreaded call now. I do not know why this is so hard for me. Maybe, Martha, because you don't really want this job? Maybe because you are waiting for the Nystrom thing to work out? Maybe I will wait.
Oh, I know, I will email them. That seems much less scary. Now where is that card?
I am going to attempt to run afterwards. Ok. Here goes.

Waited for a call

All day but I never did get one. I don't know if that means the job is not available or what. Sheesh. I hate to call back, so I am waiting till tomorrow.
I really did feel lazy all day today. I just could not get it together to really do anything. I did send a gift to a friend, but that was really all I accomplished. I was going to run but hip and chest pain stopped me. Instead I did an upper body work out. Felt good.
Amy came home unexpectedly (I thought she was working her 2nd job - but not until Wed) and we talked in the kitchen and watched Judging Amy, including the season finale. Bre got in as it was ending. It was a good ending, very emotional.
Bre and I came upstairs with popcorn and watched a Jonathon Winters special. He is so good. I didn't remember that most of what he did was improv.
Whew it was humid! ml

Mother's day

We got up slowly again, that is so nice. Bre went out and got the paper. He attempted to finish cutting the grass. I thought he was doing that so spent some time in front of the computer - sent some emails and such - but when I went outside it turned out he couldn't get the mower started.
I also called Mommy while he was outside. She was doing fine, had had a good day with Grace and Daddy and also the Lockards were there (at lunch). She told me a story about Beaver and Wally (yes, that Beaver and Wally) and how Wally's girlfriend wanted an orchid. I love my Mommy.
He finished putting the string in the boxes (to mark off the squares) and put up the climbing part. I got all the plants in the ground - even the sunflowers.
We put lime under the pines out front and also put out the seed for wild flowers and clover. I hope it takes. I cooked out while Bre was raking pine cones. I am still working on my veggie techniques. There were some burned green beans tonight.
Tonight we watched People I Know. Very sad. I had to watch some soap opera after to cleanse the pallette before sleeping!